Understanding your Partner's Sexuality….

   Sexual expression plays a huge role in relationships. It is way for people to show their lovers what they feel about them through passionate and intimate ways. As wonderful as sexuality can be, it is often misunderstood, which is why the average couple faces sexual conflicts and challenges at some point during their relationship. This is no way is a generalization of men and women, but the truth is, men and women handle their sexuality differently- on an average. If couples spend some time to truly learn and understand their partner's sexuality, they can build a happier and healthier sex life together, instead of facing the conflicts that stall their relationship from blossoming further.
     So you now know that according for your sex life to improve, you need to understand your partner's sexuality but where do you start? Good question, but there is no particular area to start. You can start at any angle you wish, as long as you are learning something about your partner's sexual behavior. Of course, the most advisable suggestion would be communication, for every counseling psychologist believes that all couple conflicts exist because of poor communication that needs to be improved. This may be true, but it is a very general suggestion too general for you to understand where to start. You see, this is because you do not know what communication to improve. Many couples may have wonderful communication between each other and get along great, except for when it comes to making love. How can this be if you communicate so well? The answer is very simple, yet most people would not think of it. In fact, the average person sees communication as a general skill that works for all areas of life, which is why most couple gets confused when their sex life starts to lack. The answer is: You need to improve your Sexual Communication.
Fine, that sounds simple enough. So all you have to do is talk about your sex life with your lover to clear any confusion? Well, yes- talking about what is going on in your bedroom certainly helps you both understand what is going on in each others minds, but that is not the entire solution. Besides talking about it, you have got to do some research and work on your own. This means you need to make an effort to study your partner's sexuality by learning what triggers good and bad sexual responses. This is where it can get challenging because men and women view sex differently. Though men have times they are not in the mood due to other things going on in their life, they usually can tune out everything when it comes to having a lovemaking session with their partner. In fact, for many men, sex is great way to help them feel better and relax- like a stress reducer. For women however, sex is a more fragile subject and involves a lot of emotion. If a woman is having a bad day or has a million things going on in her mind, it distracts her from getting involved in good sexual activity. Men take this offensively, thinking that the reason their woman does not want to have sex or is not that into it, is because she is no longer as turned on by him, or even being selfish- when this is most of the time not true. Women need to be approached in certain ways that will make them feel relaxed, safe and ready to have sex. Men too have their own preferences of ways to be approached.
here are many methods you can use to better understand your partners sexuality and improve your sex life. Begin by trying something different that you do not usually do, but also try combining that with a behavior you use often, so that your partner can still feel familiar and comfortable. Good ideas that have succeeded are giving your partner a full body massage to help them relax and open up, setting up a sexy and romantic scene in the bedroom (example: candlelight, sexy music, sexy food like chocolate strawberries, body oils and butters, champagne, etc.), having an indoor picnic at home, taking a bath and scrubbing your lovers body, taking your lover out on a date and then staying in a nice hotel for the night and so on. One of the main reasons sex conflicts occur eventually during a relationship, is due to the fact that the sex and romance fell into routine or a comfort zone. To keep a sexual relationship exciting, you must take different routes and try new things and keep it creative. Knowing what works best when it comes to awakening your lovers sexual cravings, will take time and effort, not to mention a good deal of exploration. Not that this would actually feel like work, for exploring new areas and new routines tend to always spice up a relationship and draw the two of you together. You and your partner will not only be involved in more lovemaking sessions together, but will also discover new things about each other and your relationship, which will open new doors to better communication, new ideas, as well as learning more dos and donts for your relationship.
Understanding your partners sexuality is not as hard as you may think. All it requires is the will and patience to observe and pay attention to what makes him or her tick and respond to you in the way you find most appealing. While you are learning and using new ideas to enhance your sexual side of your relationship, you and your partner will automatically strengthen your bond, love, respect and understanding towards one another, which is what being in a relationship is all about. Remember, when trying to improve a sexual relationship, you must look at things from two points of views: yours and your partners. As long as you make the best effort to this, plus good communication on both your parts, your relationship will be maintained in the most clear and satisfying form.

Why Many Marriages Don’t Work

     The wedding day was like a dream come true. You and your new spouse officially started your life together and were very excited. The honeymoon was fun, sexy and filled with hope and promise for a bright, successful and romantic filled future. As time passed however, you find yourselves sitting on the couch hardly speaking, when you used to be able to talk for days. The sex exists, but is not as often or as hot.  You argue over things that are both little and big and find yourselves feeling bothered, annoyed and jealous over things you never felt upset about before.  Sound familiar? It should, because this is a pattern that is seen over and over again in marriages. With marriage having a reputation of being so wonderful and fulfilling, why is it that so many marriages fail to work?
By definition, marriage is the uniting between two people in a consensual relationship that is recognized by the law- and for many, by God as well. So the definition of marriage is simple and obvious enough, but what it really means to you is the real question here. When couples transition from a dating relationship into a marriage, things seem to change for some reason. It seems that we believe we own each other in some way and have the paper work to prove it. You find yourselves not doing the things you used to do before you got married such as going out with your friends, having some alone time and enjoying certain hobbies, all because you are married and are supposed to do everything together. Before you know it, jealousy and frustration start surfacing when one or both of you want to have some space to do some things on your own or with other people. Another common thing to happen in marriages is the friendship taking over, where you both love each other very much, but have become more best friends than passionate lovers- all because you live together and hold the documents of marriage.
So why does this all happen? Why is it that many marriages end up disappointing and not working out? Misinterpretation, illusions and incompatible views seem to be the answers.
1; Misinterpretation
  Many seem to see marriage as a union in which both people have a hold on each other that strips away the other’s freedom.  The truth is marriage does not mean the two of you are no longer free. You are still two individual people who choose to share your lives together. While certain changes will be made to adapt to the union you have formed, you both should still be free to be yourselves and fulfill your individual life callings and goals.
2; Illusions
  A lot of us think of marrying the one we love and imagine a life filled with endless romance, passion and closeness that will automatically always be there. While the love and passion can always be there, it will not be automatic and this is an illusion we all have to forget about. A healthy marriage filled with love, passion and closeness is possible, but not without work. Falling in love in the beginning is always effortless, but the more time you spend together, the more effort it will take to make sure you keep the passion alive between you. This is not because people fall out of love over time, but because they spend every single day together, following certain routines, and if you do not make the time to break out of your routine to recapture the passion between you, you can drift apart.
3;Incompatible Views
    This one may seem obvious, but a lot of people with incompatible views get married with hope that once they are married, things will get better. Nobody is exactly the same and that is not required in order to have a good relationship and marriage. However, having similar views and sharing a fair amount of things in common will definitely help you and your partner build a marriage on more solid ground. When two people have opposite views and beliefs, they often conflicts, making it is very difficult and challenging to reach fair compromises, so make sure you and your partner share similar view in life, as well as love and marriage.
As long as you keep these important points in minds and apply them in your life, you will be able to find a partner who truly suits you and can then go on to build the successful marriage you desire from there.

Tracking down and finding your Soul Mate

    Sure, we all dream about meeting the right person. . . the one that we are meant to be with forever. Dreaming about it is all fun and easy, but the real question is, where do you find this soul mate of yours? Fate? Well yes, if you believe in fate, then yes, it will have something to do with it, but not without effort on your part. Fate needs you to give it direction so that as a team, you can find the person you have always wanted as a part of your life.
    The first thing you have to do before finding your soul mate, is finding yourself. What qualities are important to you? What are your morals and beliefs? How do you show your affection and how do you expect it to be presented to you? These are questions necessary for you to ask yourself before going out there. Giving yourself an interview will make things clearer of what type of person you are really looking for, instead of just going on a blind search.
       It is very common for a person to date people just for �dating�. While dating is a fun and useful experience, it is not advisable to just go out with anyone just to have a date, or to enter a relationship because you do not want to be alone. When you go out on a date, it is important that you use that date as an opportunity to observe and see if the person is someone you would like to see again and if they carry the qualities you are looking for. If, for example, if you are searching for a person who is in touch with his or her romantic side, but go on a date with someone who likes acting rough at baseball games and loves hunting, then you could pretty much see where the relationship would go. You should be able to sense these qualities after a few dates.
      Once you have realized that these dates will not lead to a relationship you have dreamed of, then obviously the person is not your dream mate either, and it would be best if you stop seeing each other to prevent any misleading expectations. Continuing to date someone just because you entered a comfort zone or do not want to hurt their feelings will only hold you back from meeting who you are really meant to be with, not to mention waste precious time for both you and your date�s. Gently break it to him or her that you find them to be a very interesting and nice person, but you feel like going solo for a while and then move on.
     Tracking down your soul mate will require patience; so do not feel frustrated or hopeless if you do not find him or her in a certain amount of time. Good things take time to be brought together and you will come together when the time is right. The time becomes right when you look out for the right signs. Such signs would be:

1. Being strongly attracted to each other physically.
2. Being strongly attracted to each others personalities.
3. Having common interests.
4. Sharing the same values.
5. Major respect for one another.
6. Someone who makes you feel truly special and worthy.
7. Someone who puts in a great effort to show you their passion for you and the things that is important in your life.
8. Meeting on the same emotional levels.

    These are some major and important signs to look out for when trying to track down your soul mate. It will not be difficult to realize because you will know when things are right and the way you want it. When you have found such a person, it is good for you to remember to take things one-step at a time. Sometimes people jump in too fast and end up getting hurt or realizing they jumped to conclusions a little too soon. Take it slow and observe how things are going. See if the person who seems to be perfect in every way for you, remains to carry the same qualities as the relationship proceeds.
       When time has proven that the two of you are truly compatible in ways you have always dreamed of, then the relationship may go to the next level and the two of you can make a serious commitment and start focusing on building a future together. Like before, it is important that you pay attention to how you handle a commitment together and if you both agree on what kind of future the two of have in mind. Staying on the same levels is a huge sign that you are with the right person.
     Finding your soul mate will the best accomplishment you will ever make, but it does not stop there. Finding the right person is just the beginning. Keeping the right person takes work too, on both your parts. The two of you will have to continue valuing each other for the rest of your lives, respecting each others individuality and dreams. Refresh your memory of how the two of were brought together and why you both decided to make a commitment to one another. As long as you keep the magic between you alive, your relationship will continue to grow the love and care you both never imagined could ever happen to you!

Surviving a Long Distance Relationship….

   Challenging and difficult, though they may not be what we want to hear, are the words that best describe long distance relationships. Keep in mind however, that the words are challenging and difficult, not impossible. Many people choose to give a long distance relationship a try, with the constant curiosity if it was the right decision to make and if it even stands a chance. The truth is, a long distance relationship has just as much a chance of succeeding as any other relationship!
     Long Distance Relationships share the same facts as an average relationship. It involves two people who share an interest in each other's lives, care for one another and of course have a love for each other that they hope will only continue to grow. On the other hand, a long distance relationship does have its differences as well. It takes away your ability to see each other on a frequent note, as well as the choice of being intimate whenever you desire, not to mention that there would be major trust required. Being unable to spend time together in a physical presence makes it harder to hang on to, but does not spell out doom for your relationship.
   The first step is to make an agreement of what your expectations are in the relationship and how much of a commitment you are willing to give and receive. If the two of you decide to be monogamous, then it is clear that neither of you will be dating anyone else as long as your romantic relationship exists. Being clear about what you both want is extremely important, especially in a long distance relationship, in order to prevent future misunderstandings and mistakes. Do not feel afraid to tell your partner what you really need and want from him or her, you deserve the chance to speak from your heart and he or she deserves to know the truth and judge whether they can give it to you.
      Trust is a major necessity if you wish to have your relationship from a distance. Without trust and honesty, the relationship is in for danger and unsuccessfulness, just as it would be any other relationship. By accepting the challenge of a long distance relationship, you also accepted the fact that you will have to have the trust and faith that your partner will not be seeing anyone else as promised. Being paranoid and accusing will only grow doubts, insecurity and tension between you and none of those three will help the relationship survive successfully.

Making your Romantic Dreams come True…..

Are you having the romantic life you have always wanted�in your imagination? Welcome to the club that has many members who feel and live exactly the way you do! Romance is always simple and carefree when it is being acted out in our imaginations. We can come up with the most unbelievable and breathtaking ideas and play scenes that make the best romantic movies look amateur. The only catch to all this however, is that they are developed in our fantasies and stay there, without ever actually taking place in our real lives. Why is that? Why is it so easy for us to fantasize about the most amazing romances, but can never find such romances that really exist? Does it just not happen? Is there no such thing?
        No, there is no such thing as a romantic dream come true until you create its existence. Thats right, you carry the key that will open the magical door to making all of your romantic dreams come true. What did you expect to find out? That someday an invisible wand will be waved over you, miraculously bringing you and your meant to be honey together? Well, if that is what you are counting on and waiting for, prepare to keep on waiting! Do not get the wrong idea here, of course there are situations where two people meet and have an instant connection, but things do not just stop there. Many make a mistake in believing that once they found someone they make a great connection with, everything else will fall into place perfectly and all of their romantic fantasies will come true automatically.
     If you want your fantasies to become a reality, then you must introduce them to reality. Our partners are not mind readers, yet we tend to believe they are, expecting them to act out and the things we picture them doing in our imaginations. You do not necessarily have to ask your partner to act a certain way or do a certain thing, but you can introduce your romantic ideas by starting to act them out yourself. This will paint a clear picture for your partner, helping him or her see what kind of romantic personality you have, and what you enjoy. You will also learn more about your partner, because you will see their response to your romantic suggestions, which is why is it extremely important that you do this at the beginning of your dating process, or in the beginning of your relationship. If you do not, you could very well be setting yourself up for deep disappointment.
    Romantic Dreams come true when you make an effort to never settle or anything else than what your genuine expectations are from a person. This does not mean you should never compromise however, for nobody will every perfect, including yourself, so keep in mind that there will be times where you will need to find a middle ground with your lover. Not settling for less is meant more on an obvious level. For example, if your romantic dream is to find a partner who loves long walks on the beach and going out for fancy dining and intimate picnics, then do not even bother getting seriously involved with a person who loves staying at home all the time or going out to loud parties with his or her friends. You will only be frustrated later.
     Many people choose to get involved with a person who never really fulfilled their romantic expectations from the start, but feel that things will change as their relationship proceeds. This is a mistake often made and one you should avoid making if you ever wish to live the romance of your dreams. Though people can be unpredictable, a persons hobbies and lifestyle can usually be determined in the early stages of dating�after about between 3 and 6 dates. You will be able to observe from your dates if a person carries the qualities you are in search for by paying attention to where they choose to take you on your dates, the way they speak to you, as well as all the other little things that are important to you. It is important that you are also open and honest about your hobbies, lifestyle and romantic qualities so that your date also starts to learn who you really are as a person and can also decided whether or not they feel you are someone they wish to continue dating. If you do not wish to be misled, then do not mislead others either!
   Living the romantic life of your dreams is indeed very possible, but requires time, patience and most importantly, being honest with others and yourself about who you really are and what you really want. Accomplishing true romance can only happen when you express yourself freely and confidently. Remember, no one can read your mind and there will be no magical wand that will wave over you. Fate will play a part in who you end up committing to and settling down with, but according for fate to do so, you have to help it out by showing it exactly what it is you are looking for. Fate is like a dating service in a way- in order for it to help you find the right person, you need to give it an honest description of what you are looking for and what you are also not interested it. Once you have done so, stick to it without settling for something you know you will not be 100% satisfied with. In time, you will be living your romantic dream come true with a person who feels the same and the two of you will have the wonderful relationship you have been searching for.